The Porcelain Gentleman

A definitive guide to the land of lavatories


The Setting: Standing in the queue to check table availability at the ‘Be Our Guest’ restaurant in Fantasy Land I was behind a forthright chap wearing a burgundy polo shirt … Continue reading

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‘Look Mum No Hands!’ – Hackney

The Setting: Like some smog inhaling, urban dwelling snow leopard, one of the rarest things to spot nowadays is someone living in London, who is actually from London. Now to … Continue reading

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The Setting: How close is Britain to a revolution? Listen to the sensationalist screaming’s of a comedic skinny-jeaned sex addict on Newsnight and one may be led to believe it’s … Continue reading

January 5, 2014 · Leave a comment


The setting: US 5,663,484. This is not the latest figure for clinically obese teenagers in Nebraska, nor is it the cost, in dollars, for a bedsit in Stepney. This is … Continue reading

December 13, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: 2003. A time before Facebook, Spotify, the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the smoking ban….given what was to follow, 2003 almost seems like a golden age of innocence, a parallel … Continue reading

November 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

Wapping Studio’s

The Setting: A while back Britain stopped making things. This is because when it came down to supply chain logistics a nine-year old Bangladeshi boy is easier to pay tuppence … Continue reading

November 22, 2013 · Leave a comment

The Proud Archivist

The Setting: What is art? Now were the Porcelain Gentleman an artist, with the obligatory crazed predilection for exuding profanity, banality and insanity in roughly equal measure, I could probably … Continue reading

November 14, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: The supermarket is modern society’s pat on the back. A combination of complex global food distribution networks, diverse and varied consumption palates and forward thinking, almost intrusive, marketing … Continue reading

November 8, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when, but around 15 years ago Britain stopped trying. Our collective memory failed us, and though we all had to walk past huge … Continue reading

October 31, 2013 · Leave a comment

Vue Cinema – Islington

The Setting: ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’ Ah Ferris, with his bourgeois rebellion, chirpy approach to … Continue reading

October 25, 2013 · Leave a comment

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