The Porcelain Gentleman

A definitive guide to the land of lavatories

The Shakespeare’s Head

The Setting: The Shakespeare’s head was once a famous pub situated just off Drury lane and frequented by actors and literary figures such as Charles Dickens. The writer Mark Lemon … Continue reading

October 18, 2013 · Leave a comment

The Crown and Shuttle

The Setting: Shoreditch Like Sisyphus and his rock  is this self proclaimed heartland of hip fated to forever amble along a Mobius Strip? To glance out the window and scream … Continue reading

October 11, 2013 · 1 Comment

Public Urinals – Paddington

The Setting: There is a common assumption that when you are a tourist you should see an area with a local as to experience what they see, know and feel … Continue reading

October 9, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: The most fascinating thing about Nando’s is where they are located, The Porcelain Gentleman suggests you look at this on line to understand the subtext. Yes there are some, … Continue reading

October 4, 2013 · Leave a comment

The O2 Arena

The Setting: The second hand would reach twelve, the clock would move onto a state of midnight and subsequently all computers globally would fail to realise it was a new … Continue reading

September 30, 2013 · 1 Comment

The Westfield – Stratford

The Setting: The ‘donut effect’ occurred in cities in the UK during the 70’s when the growing bourgeois decided they weren’t places to reside but instead dull grey monstrosities full … Continue reading

September 26, 2013 · Leave a comment

Virgin Active – Minories

The setting: The rather humorous twist with life is that there is in effect a very small slither of people that are so very beautiful their mere presence allows one … Continue reading

September 19, 2013 · Leave a comment

Barton G – Miami

The Setting: One thing the Porcelain Gentleman admires about Americans is their lack of infatuation with ‘authenticity’. In the UK it’s almost a national obsession. Whether it is the class … Continue reading

September 19, 2013 · Leave a comment

Gatwick Airport

The Setting: In general, most cities have 1 airport, possibly 2 (hub and regional) – London has 5. Remarkably this landing strip fetish is not just some legacy of public … Continue reading

September 12, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: It’s difficult to predict where the future will lie with the objectification of sexuality. Undoubtedly the backlash against lads mags, the slow removal of page 3 from the … Continue reading

September 9, 2013 · Leave a comment

Follow me on Twitter