The Porcelain Gentleman

A definitive guide to the land of lavatories

Category Archives: Restaurants


The Setting: Standing in the queue to check table availability at the ‘Be Our Guest’ restaurant in Fantasy Land I was behind a forthright chap wearing a burgundy polo shirt … Continue reading

January 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

‘Look Mum No Hands!’ – Hackney

The Setting: Like some smog inhaling, urban dwelling snow leopard, one of the rarest things to spot nowadays is someone living in London, who is actually from London. Now to … Continue reading

January 5, 2014 · Leave a comment


The setting: US 5,663,484. This is not the latest figure for clinically obese teenagers in Nebraska, nor is it the cost, in dollars, for a bedsit in Stepney. This is … Continue reading

December 13, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: 2003. A time before Facebook, Spotify, the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the smoking ban….given what was to follow, 2003 almost seems like a golden age of innocence, a parallel … Continue reading

November 29, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when, but around 15 years ago Britain stopped trying. Our collective memory failed us, and though we all had to walk past huge … Continue reading

October 31, 2013 · Leave a comment


The Setting: The most fascinating thing about Nando’s is where they are located, The Porcelain Gentleman suggests you look at this on line to understand the subtext. Yes there are some, … Continue reading

October 4, 2013 · Leave a comment

Barton G – Miami

The Setting: One thing the Porcelain Gentleman admires about Americans is their lack of infatuation with ‘authenticity’. In the UK it’s almost a national obsession. Whether it is the class … Continue reading

September 19, 2013 · Leave a comment

Follow me on Twitter